SERENDIPITY

Saturday, 16.5.09, 1.47am

I dreamed that Mum, Sue-Mae and I were in Mum’s car, except it was a Proton, and that it ‘needed’ to be filled up with water (don’t ask me why). When it was about two-third filled, we parked the car somewhere (I forgot) and went on-line with notebooks sitting at tables, except that I was floating around. Then there was a girl wearing glasses with straight shoulder length hair, and for some reason, she was doing something which annoyed me (can’t remember either), which I told her off for. And when I woke up, I was drooling on my bed and pillow. Eww. Weird dream, huh!!

2.39am

Tuesday, 28.4.09, 9.23pm

So, what’s been happening in the past two months? Well, I’ve learnt it’s true that too many cooks spoil the broth, and that it’s not a dog eat dog world, but a snake eat dog world, with me being a typical dog. One who’s too nice and gullible to survive in the big, bad world. I may have also fallen ‘in and out of love’ a couple of times.

Besides that, thank you to all the people who wished me a happy birthday and celebrated it with me. I’ve also gotten a hair trim at last which was horrible at first, but is looking better after some time now. I’m also still eating and sleeping most of the time, continuing with my weight battle. I’m at my heaviest ever. Someone not very tactful just confirmed it for me tonight.

And yes, I still turn, expecting to see her running or lying around in the garden, only to be disappointed. I still miss running, playing and hanging out with her, whether it is getting bitten, scratched or having her on my lap. After two trips accumulating to two and a half hours at the SPCA, we still don’t have a new dog. I really hope Zara, the chosen one, will be with us soon.

“You free?” “I’m at home. Why?”

“Call me”

“Please?”

“Text me after your home k…thanks” “I’m home. It was nice to see you again. Good luck with your new job ya. Take care and good night! :)”

I recently helped a friend move house between 11pm to 2am. The first S.O.S. sms came in at about 10.30pm. After a moment of hesitation, I stopped whatever I was doing to get ready to go out, even though I knew this was a friend who might only call when help or something was needed. Well, I do try to help people without expecting anything in return. After all, what goes around, comes around, right?

Will it work? Who knows. I don’t, they don’t. It might, it might not. So doesn’t it deserve a chance? A decent chance like anything else? All the reasons given are pathetic excuses, not valid at all. It doesn’t help that I’m going through my quarter life crisis, with people my age getting married, having babies and getting new homes and cars. Job promotions, salary increments, lines in the skin, weight gain, hair loss and other signs of aging are valid issues too. So, just give me a break, ok?

Just came back from a good eight day trip. Was in Bukit Tinggi for two nights, where I enjoyed the Rabbit Park, French Village and Botanic Garden. I loved the various animals we touched and fed in the Rabbit Park, while the French Village looked like it came out of scenes in my movies, and the Botanic Garden was full of green trees and plants, itemised with their scientific and regular names.

Meanwhile, in Kuala Lumpur, we spent four hours in IKEA, Ikano and The Curve, after which we dropped by to see my cousin Kah Yee in her spotless new home. The five days with Por-Por in Seremban were good too, being able to catch up with family members we don’t usually see on a day to day basis. It was fun playing with my other cousin Ka-Men’s dog, Trixie, too!! The seven year old dog was as energetic and hyper as ever.

I would like to end this blog post with some quotes:

My Zinc Bed (movie) - ”If you’re cured, you’d be cured of desire. Who wants to be cured of desire?”

Into The Wild (movie) - “When you forgive, you love, and when you love, God’s light shines on you.”

The Daily Bread (Christian) - “When we forget about ourselves, we do things that others remember.”

10.31pm

Saturday, 11.4.09, 1.03am

It was there, in the middle of the road,
A young cat, black and white,
As I watched, another car went over,
I grimaced, squealed and shut my eyes,
As more of its ‘insides’ came out.

I could not do nothing,
I could not just drive away,
I asked for a plastic bag from the restaurant,
They did not have the size I wanted,
So I went to the store next door.

I approached two strangers,
I asked if they could help,
Gingerly they agreed to watch my back,
While I squatted down and picked it up,
Tying it properly before putting it in the bin.

What a gruesome sight and end to my night,
From Tanjung Bungah to Green Lane and back again,
Sat for an hour at Gurney Drive by myself,
I hope you are in a better place, kitty,
Where all the other cats and kittens run and play.

1.24am

I still miss you,
I still see you,

Your wagging tail,
And your wet tongue,

The warmth of your body,
Your trusting eyes,

I turn around,
But you’re not there,

What can I do?
Not very much,

I’m sorry, my love,
I’m really, so sorry,

I hope you’re happy,
Wherever you are,

And do remember me,
My Baby, my sweet Honey,

As I’ll remember you,
My beloved Sweetie Pie.

1.38am

Sayang… Why do I love you so much?
I dunno…

Jin… When are you coming to …… ?
I dunno…

Why everything also you dunno?
*Smile*

1.43am

Went ‘window shopping’ in SPCA today… Spent an hour looking at the cats and dogs there… Will be there for a second session in a few hours’ time…

After months, I’ve finally connected my iBook G4 to the wifi at home… But not all is well though… Must be my dinosaur iBook and its dinosaur contents…

1.46am

Monday, 6.4.09, 2.42am

No more seeing you through doors, windows and greens,

No more destroyed plants and anti white ants thingys,

No more whining and barking,

No more keeping chicken bones and feeding times,

No more scratching legs and biting hands,

No more crazy antics in the garden and quiet siesta times,

No more wagging tail and hours on my lap,

We’ve loved, have we lost?

Will we ever meet again?

I’ll miss you, my darling,

My Honey and Sweetie Pie,

I’ll miss you.

2.49am

p/s. Original thoughts penned down on 5.4.09 at 1.53pm.

Saturday, 7.3.09, 12.54am

Happy birthday, Regina and Kherly!! Just had a ‘bullying’ and photo session with Pa and Puppy. Felt better after that. Letting out to Pa helped too. Not forgetting the McDonald’s vanilla milkshake and large fries. Considering cheesecake too. I know, I’m such a glutton, aren’t I?!?

Had breakfast with Joel and Henry. Thanks, you guys. That was a good one. We should do it again soon, and at a more leisurely pace ya. Lunch was busy and dinner was not. Another staff meeting, some grievances were aired. Whether anything will be done about them remains to be seen.

More communication breakdowns and emotional breakdowns too. Touched by those who cared enough to ask. Probably just too tired. Should sleep soon. Saw two accidents along Kelawai Road. That didn’t help matters. Neither did the flash of a camera when I ran a red light along Scotland Road. Damn it.

Feeling more disillusioned by the seemingly lack of integrity in people. It’s disheartening to learn that many people are not who they seem to be. Am I reading the signs wrongly? Could I be mistaken? May things be better when I wake up in the morning. Good night and sweetdreams. Zzzzzzz.

1.06am

Friday, 6.3.09, 1.18am

My eyes can barely open; my legs, feet and arms are aching. It has been a long day. It didn’t start too well, got better in the middle and then had a less than desirable ending.

A delayed appointment and miscommunication causes me to receive some unwarranted ‘feedback’. After a busy lunch rush, I spent about an hour distributing fliers, bought a birthday cake and then had a short nap.

Back at work, a few of us had the pleasure of sitting down with one of our bosses with buns he had gotten for us. I had the ‘honour’ of listening to the men talk the way they do when there are no women around. I wonder how much worse it would be if I were really not around. Meanwhile, I hope my relationship with my other boss is improving. I know I am new and learning. Give me a chance and I’ll show you that I can do it.

Better parts of my day? The chat with a family of four; three of whom are based in London. They loved the food so much that I got the Chef to meet them. Also enjoyed lepaking with Chef and his assistant; sharing lame jokes and silly riddles.

After work, could not believe it when the birthday girl I was supposed to meet tonight cancelled the meeting. My efforts of getting her a cake and organising the meeting had gone down the drains. Comfort food of the night?!? McDonald’s vanilla milkshake and Jenni’s marble cheesecake, but of course!! Also forgot to clock out at the restaurant, so I made a big round to go back to do so. Sigh, what a day!!

I saw the little bird building her nest this morning!! It’s getting longer. I saw another one of the same species a few buildings away too, when I was distributing our fliers. The sounds they make are quite piercing for such a little bird!! As for Puppy, she whines whenever I don’t feed her my leftover chicken bones at night, the spoilt brat. Chef says he’ll have some for me tomorrow. Hope he’ll remember and that they will be small enough for Puppy to eat.

Eighteen and forty-two?!? I wonder if I’ve got it wrong. What if I have? What if I haven’t? Hmm……. I’m going to sleep. I’ve got a breakfast date in the morning!! Lots of love.

1.39am

Thursday, 5.3.09, 12.40am

I’m feeling a good kind of tired, besides the accident I saw in front of St. Nicholas on my way home. Lunch and dinner hours were quite busy today. Did not see the little bird at her nest as well. Wonder if she’s shifted somewhere else. Sometimes we have bird nests in our garden at home too.

As usual, I arrived at work (almost) late and hungry. Received ‘constructive feedback’ about that during the staff meeting. I have accepted it with grace and am trying to improve on that. A colleague pressed money into my hands to get some roti canai for breakfast, but I said no, I would wait for the South Indian lady chef to finish preparing an early brunch for me.

I’m getting a little worried about some attention I’ve been receiving. I hope I’m just being overly sensitive and that nothing will come out of it. (Chatted with my sister for a bit, now she’s talking with my Dad who’s on another computer.) Sharing a light moment with a couple of my colleagues today, I was telling them about the phrase “A rose by any other name is but a rose…”. Chef agreed then asked, “What about charcoal?!?” Ahh, just a lame joke.

Was surprised to see my previous employer’s wife walk in with a group of six today. I suppose she was equally surprised to see me working there as well. I would like to think they enjoyed themselves. Another big ’surprise’ I received was when a ‘customer’ asked me if I was the one with a blog called ‘Serendipity’. He was one of the big boss’s brother and had found my blog on-line when he Googled the name of our restaurant. I almost died. Luckily he did not think I had written anything inappropriate. So far. Will have to be very careful with what I write from now onwards. Also found out yesterday that another friend has been reading my blog regularly too. It is nice to know that my writings are being read. And I hope said friend will feel better soon.

Oh no. My Dad is having ice-cream in front of me. It does not help that I’ve been trying to suppress my craving for an ice-cream sandwich tonight. SIGH. Should I have the durian or the almond pecan praline flavour?!? This is where I say good night, for now…

1.22am

p/s. The durian flavour won…

Wednesday, 4.3.09, 12.27am

I don’t know where to start, and what to name this blog. Been feeling a little better lately, probably because I’ve been having more rest (aka sleep). Or it could be the fact that my parents dropped by for lunch yesterday, and that I introduced Chef to them. It meant a lot that they enjoyed their second lunch at the Khanna Restaurant. They also met one of my bosses who entertained them with his tales. It could also be that with my new colleague, things are a little less hectic work wise.

So what is beauty? Chef said good food needs no decoration - the food should speak for itself. He said it should also apply to people - that beautiful girls should not have to apply mascara and/or makeup to make themselves look better, they should look good naturally. He often compliments me on my eyes. We had a group of “Super VIPs” tonight. One of the Datin Sris commented that I was beautiful, and that my eyes were beautiful. She told me that I should smile more in order to look even more beautiful. Point taken. Among the group of nine were a couple known to my parents. They sent their regards to my family.

It’s funny how I have now sort of become a “senior staff” with the intake of new staff. I try my best to guide the new guy with whatever I know, and yet not to overstep any invisible boundaries. Chef continues to spoil me, with a bowl of chicken wings in soup this afternoon. He also packs a little something for me to bring home as we close for the night. And how do we know when we have earned the trust of a friend or acquaintance? I believe it’s when one is entrusted with another’s money, handphone and/or (hand)bag - one’s most private and important personal items.

Wish I could change my clothes like the guys. They can just go to a corner at the back of the kitchen to change their tops. As for me, I have to go to the washroom to change into and out of my Indian-ish top. There was another sweet couple today, and at lunch, a girl on her own with a magazine. Was amazed too when I saw a working man in his forties reading a book while waiting for his colleague/friend/business associate. It is certainly very rare to see people reading in public nowadays, especially for men!!

My blisters are just dying to burst. I’m so tempted to burst them before they do so naturally. As for my diet, I’m just doing the best I can, with no help at all from the men in my workplace, while my face is doing surprisingly well, minus the two pimples or mosquito marks on the left side of my face. Was good to have a quick catch up session with some old friends. Bumped into a flash from the past too. Wonder if that will lead anywhere. Also received the most shocking news today. Ambivalent about its believability.

Happy birthday to Ashraf Ali and Eisen. Hope they had a good one and that they will have a good year ahead. I’ve been invited to an ex-colleague’s wedding in May. I’ve missed two weddings recently, hopefully I will make it for this one. Will also be meeting up with some friends this week. Was nice playing with Baby and one of his ‘big brothers’. Looks like Baby is fitting well, right into the food and beverage industry like his adoptive family.

As for me, my nice bath and hair wash this morning was wasted by the time evening came along, with the smell of curries, sizzling dishes and second hand smoke, both from my colleagues and the customers lingering on me, my hair and my clothes. Sigh. On a lighter side, I found myself fascinated by the little bird that was painstakingly building a nest on the bamboo plant just outside our main entrance. She flew back and forth, back and forth, adding unto the nest, bit by bit. I believe it might have been a hummingbird, or was it a kingfisher? It was a little smaller than the sparrow. I hope the rain will not destroy her hard work.

Talking about animals and nature, Puppy has been enjoying goodies from the restaurant, as well as the usual rice with chicken carcasses Pa prepares for her. She has the food pellets as well. So much variety in her diet, the lucky puppy. I noticed the last couple of nights two snails sharing her food as well, not to mention one of the visiting cats dropping by too. Which brings me to the topic of my Pa, who is not only the best husband, father, son, son-in-law, friend, employee, brother and brother-in-law, he seems to be great with animals and plants too. He is the one who does most of the gardening at home, while Puppy adores him, and he has managed to be adopted by another two cats other than our residential black cat Sunshine. One being her boyfriend Moonlight, and the latest edition, an orange tabby with bells round his neck, “Ling-Long”. I nicknamed him such after the sound of his bells, and the nickname has stuck since. We hear him exploring around the side and back part of the garden. 1.16am

1.44am: Pa came back about half an hour ago and we’ve been chatting since. It has become sort of a ritual for us to chat after my work these days. Think I should sign off now to get my beauty sleep soon. Take care and have a good week ahead, everyone!! Lots of love, laughter and smiles…

1.48am

Monday, 2.3.09, 12.35am

Just finished spending some time with Puppy. Both of us benefit from it. She has grown, and at an alarming rate I must say. It frightens me. I prefer it when she looks roly-poly, rather than ’slim’. However, I wish she wouldn’t grow so fast.

He found a prepaid simcard. He then used to it to make phonecalls, even letting his friends use it for long-distance phonecalls, charging them a cheaper rate than the going rate. I ask myself, what would I have done if in the same position? Would I do the same thing or would I do something completely different? What are the options? What about you?

We have a new wash basin in the restaurant, and today, a new colleague. He said I look like I’m 21 years old. Haha. Right. At the same time, another colleague left to work in KL today. He is the second one to leave the company. Their departures sadden me, as we were all there together from Day One. Somehow the group doesn’t feel complete without them. I hope the new guy will fit in well with us.

Was I taken for a joyride? Perhaps. Luckily I was barely hurt by the flames. I still never learn, do I? Some would call me naive and guillible, but why not call me optimistic, and someone who’d rather see the positive side of people instead? Received two ‘constructive criticisms’ from one of my bosses today. Alright, I admit I deserved them. I hope I’ll be able to improve in those areas then.

There was a cancelled reservation tonight. It was supposed to be a birthday function for ten people. My colleagues had decorated one of our private rooms and waited for hours, only to realise that the people were not going to turn up, without so much as a phonecall to inform us. What a disappointment it was. (Chatting with Sue-Mae on Skype now.)

More familiar faces turned up at the restaurant today, even though it was really quite a slow Sunday (I would have rather stayed at home and/or do whatever I wanted to do). My parents’ friends - a husband and wife team came to show their support (they have also recently become acquainted with Aunty and Uncle).

And then, I was pleasantly surprised to recognise one of the doctors I used to see, walking in with his wife. Although it has been some time since I last went to his clinic, he remembered my name, as well as other details I had shared with him before. I was touched that he made me feel as though he really cared about me as a person, and that I was not just another patient.

Had a short chat (in Mandarin) with a five year old girl today. She was really beautiful and sweet, and we were both standing just outside the main entrance, enjoying the strong wind. To be honest, I could barely understand most of what she said, due to my language constraint and her bashfullness. However, we were somehow connected through our appreciation of the breeze. And yes, I do miss being around children.

It has occurred to me that one needs a certain amount of discipline to work in a restaurant and/or kitchen. This definately refers to me, especially for one who loves to eat and loves food. For today, I had tosai for breakfast, two helpings of fried rice for lunch, and two dinners - the first, rice with a Chinese chicken wing dish prepared by Chef for me, and the second, Chinese fried noodles prepared by his assistant.

Chef also randomly gave me two red balloons today. They were ‘leftovers’ from the decorations for the birthday function’s reserved room. I have no idea what the significance of his action is. I suspect he was just teasing, as usual.

1.29am

Sunday, 1.3.09, 1.05am

Now my colleagues are not only spoiling me, but they’re spoiling my puppy too!! After realising that I’ve been bringing home my chicken bones for ‘Puppy’, they packed huge chunks of (rejected) tandoori chicken and raw ’spare parts’ for her. Chef also gave me a quarter of a plain naan right after I finished my lunch today. There goes my ‘diet’ down the drains. *SIGH*

Meanwhile, Chef’s assistant has reminded me a couple of times to address him as ‘Chef’ and not by his name; not knowing that the Chef had given me the green light to do so. The cheeky man had told his assistant in my presence that I have beautiful eyes today. I am also intrigued by the evolving relationship I’m having with the Chef’s assistant, who had been rather quiet for the years I’ve known him. He has now become quite comfortably playful and vocal with me. It is amazing how people DO change.

I’m a little relieved to relay that today (Saturday) was a little slower than usual. (Sshh, don’t tell my bosses I said that.) I wonder what Sunday will be like. Yup, the management has decided that they want to try opening shop seven days a week for the month of March. Of course none of the floor staff were thrilled. As it is, the blister on my left foot has gotten bigger, while I’ve developed another one on my right foot. Even then, I felt a little empowered today when I said “NO” to a certain someone, as well as tried to stand up for myself. (I’ve got to work more on it.)

Was quite enchanted when I saw a European couple with an Asian baby. The man looked like a lovely person, while his wife seemed a little unhappy (sour faced). There was another European family with three young beautiful children as well. I also did wonder if the two Japanese couples who came by to eat were holiday makers or staying in Penang. I didn’t dare try my very rusty and very limited Japanese on them. I’ve also noticed at least two other local and young couples in our restaurant. The first were both Chinese, while the latter was a Chinese and Indian mixed couple. Both couples were rather sweet and interesting to watch.

There are also customers who come in almost everyday; some more than once a day. There were a group of women who came in for lunch today who returned for dinner with the rest of their family. Then there are those who come regularly with different groups of people, thus ’spreading the word’ to others. However, there are those who baffle me - what line of work are they in anyway? How come they have so much free time on their hands to sit around and do whatever it is that they do?!? Will not go further into this subject.

First of March - it is the birthday of Choo Beng and Christopher!!! Happy birthday, you guys!! May you have a great birthday and year ahead, filled with life’s best - love, happiness, peace, health and success. Take care and all the best ya!!! As for me, it’s time to go to bed now. Tomorrow’s another working day!!!! *sigh*

1.48am